Who, But God Knew — Part 4

I thought is was fitting to finish this story on our #4 baby’s 3rd Birthday.

This might be the hardest part of the story for me because the time before her birth was a very difficult time for us. Financially things were not easy and many people judged us for me not  finding a job while he was laid off and for choosing to home school. Though the hardest part was how to pay the bills.

In 2011 I went to my routine doctors appointment and found out I was pregnant, but had also started my cycle. It was a the first time in my life that I could get some understanding of what some may feel when the choose to have an abortion. NO WAY was that an option, but I was horrified to tell my husband, who did not want anymore kids. Not because he wouldn’t love more, but because … well… we were struggling. Plus, he was ready to have the kids getting to an age that maybe he and I could get more alone time. I can not share what happened between us when I told him as it is very personal. Lets just say God was with us because we needed Him. I did lose that baby and the whole time was very emotional. It was miscarriage number 5 and in some ways the hardest.

Almost one year later I became pregnant again and yes it was not received well. Yet, as I keep track of my temperatures and ovulation this month it was 4 days earlier that ever before. This was truly God taking control of what is His to control not ours. The next three months were a very lonely and quiet three months. I was extremely fatigued like I have never felt before. I was sick, but nothing extreme. At twelve weeks we told the kids they were going to have a baby brother or sister. Oh man were they excited and picking names already. The rest of the world the found out…when I shared on Facebook. With the rest of the world excited our world started to change as the date drew closer.

On April 9, 2013 she was born in a dramatic fashion as #1 and #2 were and has been dramatically been bring joy into our world ever since. She is a wise soul. She seems to always just know. Her mannerisms are beyond her years. Her character is always bringing a smile to someone’s face. AND she has her Daddy wrapped around her finger. Oh, who is kidding who…her WHOLE hand. Her older siblings several times have wished they could stop her from growing up so they could snuggle her forever. Our family was not complete without her and Who, but God Knew….