Might seem like a silly question, but yesterday I asked us to think about who Jesus is to us. Today I feel the desire to reflect on expectations. I truly believe it is our expectations that get us into trouble. Get us into feelings of despair, loneliness, anger, frustration, and I could go one with many more emotions.
What do you expect from yourself? What do you expect from your spouse? What do you expect from your children? What do you expect from friends, parents, siblings, extended family, neighbors, community, world, etc.? Again I could go on and on and on with this.
***Before continuing I ask that you stop and reflect on what types of things you expect from the people in your life and around you. How you want them to treat you? What you may want them to do for you? Then come back here and read the rest of my post. I should just make this a two-part post, but your are grown ups and really it probably doesn’t matter a bunch.***
Expectations are what seems to get me into trouble in many ways, but before I explain that I what to make a note that expecting things out of or from people is not always a bad thing. What is bad is when you expect things you have never shared with the other party. Anyway, let me give some examples. First of all, I expect that people drive with courtesy. How does this get me in trouble? Well, it can cause me great frustration, anger, and stress when someone doesn’t drive in a manner I (YES I) deem appropriate. Yet, another layer to that is that what I deem appropriate comes from how I was taught to drive or how I was raised. So, my expectation of how people should drive really comes from my own perceptions of what is right. You can take this example and apply similar concepts to every area of your life.
I guess the best place to star is in your home. Do you expect things from your kids? Sure we all do, but have you explained and properly taught them the habits necessary to meet your expectations? Then once you are fully aware that they have been properly trained do you properly follow through daily on making sure they meet those expectations? Or do you slack in this and then blow up when over time they are not meeting your expectations? HA…I have made this mistake. How about your spouse? Do you expect your spouse to know that when you mope around the house it means they should cook dinner? Or whatever you please…do you expect them to know that you want them to do anything for you? Yet, you never explain this to them. OH THEY SHOULD JUST KNOW, because they are an adult?? Right…just like you should know how to change the oil in the car because you are an adult? I work REALLY hard NOT to get upset with my husband if he doesn’t respond in a way that I would like him to WHEN I HAVE NEVER told him. I am not in the business of giving advice. Just thoughts. So I will end on that note. I hope you are thinking.
Final Thought…my husband and I rarely fight and I believe that is because we are ALWAYS open and honest with each other about what we need or desire from the other person on everything from doing dishes to our personal relationship. We were not always this way we achieved this after READING LOTS of books!
God Bless! I am praying for you please pray for me!
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