Let’s assume for this post that my children are NOT the only one’s in the world that can have a meltdown … one that will carry on throughout the day. Why do they do this? And why do we as parents feel like we are being punished by the God’s? (Okay there is only ONE God. I am using sarcasm!) I can not speak for you and your children nor will I ever try, but my kids have meltdowns for what seems like the craziest things and it always SEEMS like it happens at the worst possible times. Anything ringing true for anyone?
So, in my life with four children it seems that on average we have an extended meltdown 1-2 times a week from at least one child. Currently, it is our #2 and #3 children that seem to have them the most often. Our oldest tends to get in a mood that resembles anger more than anything and leaving him alone is always the best policy. The other two, man, when they get going on something there is screaming, foot stomping, LOTS of tears, whining, pouting, etc. Usually when this occurs they also like to make sure to do it all EXTRA hard or EXTRA loud…ya know just in case the neighbors that live 100 yards away can hear.
I used to try to defuse it immediately and be the good mom trying to calm them down, but typically what occurred was that I would wind up getting all worked up and screaming back at them. NOW THAT IS COUNTER-PRODUCTIVE. Then I read or heard some wise words about how … oh read them in The Five Love Languages for Children…that kids will have strong emotions and as parents you have two choices let them experience these emotions with your love and support OR force them to keep the emotion in. By doing the first one you show them you are a safe place for them no matter what.
Don’t get me wrong … since when this occurs I feel like our life is placed on hold and the roof my fall in. I think “Lord what did I do to deserve this today?” Yet, you know it isn’t about me that child in that moment is suffering and it is our job to teach them how to work through their stuff before a meltdown occurs. We need to get over ourselves and the inconvenience they seem to cause us at times. Besides, think of yourself … when you are all out of sorts isn’t there usually ALWAYS a reason? Well, the same is true for them. Currently, my 2 older children are knocking on hormone changes and #3 is close behind. Pretty sure we are in for lots of extreme emotions over the next 15 years as #4 will have to go through it all as well.
Final Thought…instead of seeing their meltdown as a slight or inconvenience ask God to show you what is wrong so you can TRULY teach them how to handle that emotion when it comes up again.
God Bless! I am praying for you please pray for me!!
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