A Servants Heart

A servant is a person who does duties for others, a devoted and helpful follower. If we pause for a moment, we can all think of at least one person who we know that is always doing for others. Sometimes this person is doing for their community at large and other times they are doing on a smaller level. I recently read a book about All Saints Day to my 2nd grade catechism students. They were fascinated by how these saints were a beautiful mix of people who served in big ways and others that served in small ways. We discussed how many of the canonized saints did big things and even gave their lives, but others simply loved the people around them.

I have been reflecting on the life of my Gram. I am not sure she would ever call herself a servant, let alone a servant of God. Yet, that is exactly what she was. She was a servant to her family, church, and without even realizing it end up serving around the world. See like we believers are His arms and legs throughout the world my Gram is a servant around the world through each and every one of her children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren. Touching hearts in small ways reaches hearts for lifetimes in places beyond our reach.

My Gram found herself raising 8 children born within 10 years. As I understand it, they were active children that found all sorts of ways to have fun. She raised them by doing it all, cooking, cleaning, cutting hair, canning, and still attending church. Though she may tell you she only went to have time away for the peace and quiet. I always found it interesting that she and Grandpa took turns going to church until the kids had received their First Communion.

My Grandfather died in his 50s when they still had children at home and in their teens. So, now she is a single parent to those 8 children and some of whom are now married with children. She met the challenge of raising those kids and helping to care for her grandchildren. She was always cooking, cleaning, canning, cutting hair, and singing in the choir. I remember spending the night at her house as often as I could and attending Mass with her. It was so exciting to me to see her singing in the choir.

As time went on, she began to have what we came to call monthly birthday breakfast where we all gathered to celebrate all the birthdays of the month. There were piles of pancakes, eggs, sausage, and toast with homemade jam. If anyone walked into her home with us there, because so many others did make their way into our family, they would see her buzzing around making sure every need was taken care of. There she was still cooking, cleaning, canning, and praying the rosary. I have fond memories of so many that were welcomed into our family because my Gram opened her heart & door to them.

As I grew older, I came to learn about what me Gram meant to others. It has been such a blessing to hear she was just always so kind. Or that she was just the sweetest lady. She was spreading love to her community when she played cards, shopped at the local grocery stores, and behind the counter as a bank teller. Even when she was doing that she was still cooking, cleaning, canning, and praying. She was just always willing to do for others but many times the way she DID for others was just showing love.

Looking at her children and my cousins I see hard workers, people who strive, but who are always willing to give. They give by opening their homes and cooking for members in their community. Like handing out food to the needy in the streets of Seattle. They give by cleaning in ways of helping a neighbor rake leaves, or like making sure people in poor communities have fresh water. They give by canning up the love she gave them and handing it out in heaping piles throughout all the land by smiling, hugging, sharing compassion, finding ways to be kind, and giving more than they receive. She set an example of giving in her way for the purpose He gave her and then her many arms and legs have taken that to a greater level.

Walking through my Gram’s home you will find Him in every room with sayings, statues, or other artwork. My Gram may not have told you to get to church but she set an example of someone that was fed at her church and spilled that into the lives of those around her. I later learned she prayed her rosary many times a day with the intention of her family. She trusted us all to Him and how hard that is to do. She sat in her chair praying for us . . . each and every one of us every single day. Look around and see what her prayers have done. I pray we all can pick up where she left off because there are still many generations to our tree to come.

At All Saints Day Mass, November 1, 2022, Father Cotter gave the best homily for me in that moment. He shared the stories for some great Saints that were martyred for their faith. He went on to say, “but today is not their day they have their own feast day. Today is for all the moms, dads, single men & women that all served Him in their small ways each and every day. Today is the day we celebrate those saints in Heaven.” That was special for many reasons because I had just labeled our Gram our Patron Saint the night before.

I end with . . . Gram she would ask, “What should I do?” several times during my time with her at the end of her life. She just wanted to be doing. I told her it was time for her to finally sit down at the table and rest . . . to sit at His table and rest. Once she said, “Who will do the dishes?” I told her, “Gram, you raised us well, it is our turn to do the dishes.” So, my dear uncles, aunts, and cousins I challenge you to pick up your towel and get the dishes done . . .the dishes of prayer, the dishes of serving your communities, the dishes of passing on the faith to all you meet, the dishes of welcoming others into your embrace, the dishes of being who she raised us all to be.

Holy Spirit Moments

As long as I can remember I have had vivid dreams and sensations that someone was near. You know those dreams you wake up from and you can recall every detail right down to numbers and colors. Or those moments when the hair stands up on the back of your neck. Even when you get goosebumps when someone shares something with you. I bet others have JUST KNOWN they should do something and WOW later learn it was a good thing they did. How about those moments when an image flashes through your mind. I can’t be the only one. Whose with me?

I have had many moments over the past 30 years, but I will focus today on moments in the past 10 years. One day I recall feeling a great disconnect with God and frustrated in with feeling at my whits end. I was sitting in the middle of my living room and cried out to Him to show me my purpose. Just then a song played that told me my purpose for that season was to raise up my children to be Children of God.

Another moment not long after that I was once again praying in my living room (so strange since I spend the least amount of my time in that room). Feeling wrought with fear, anxiety, and worry. This was an ongoing fear for most of my life. I had lived with great fear of loss and anytime I prayed I heard in my head different versions of “you have nothing to fear” or “you all are guarded”. Yet, in this moment I just seemed to be so lost. I cried, “Lord, I am over this. I can not continue to feel this way. I will not pass this anxiety on to my kids. Please take it. Please show me, in my human weakness, that You GOT THIS!” I felt a wave wash over me. I turned towards a window that gave me a clear view of our entry door to see a soldier angel standing guard, saw flash in my mind of the same type of angels hovering around our house, and heard in my mind what seemed to be an audible voice, but was not, “Now do you believe me. Go be Bold! Your family is heavily guarded!” Those angels had the most beautiful wings with browns & golds that radiated light. The one at our door was armored up and I have since learned wearing the exact armor Paul writes about in Ephesians 6. It was within that year I had lunch with a friend, who without knowing this happened, grabbed my hand in prayer and said, “Be bold, Kelly, BE BOLD!” Well, that was my conviction. Boldness out of a person that spent years avoiding confrontation and living with fear of bad news was no easy transition.

It took about five years for me to get to a place where I felt more comfortable speaking up. Which is about the same time I restarted my blog. Also, around this time God placed a heavy burden on my heart, but before I get to that I want to share two other visions I had that are also connected. The first was before I went to vote in the 2016 election. I really struggled and prayed a great deal about this election. In my mind, there was no clear direction for casting my vote. I prayed without ceasing going up to the vote. I asked God to give me something to confirm my vote was the right vote and to trust that His will would prevail. As I placed my pencil down, I saw a white angel wing press down upon my hand. This confirmed I was casting my vote correctly. Then in March, 2019, my dearest friend went home to be with the Lord. In May of that year, I was back in church for the first time since her funeral, feeling her loss, and the weight of this burden I mentioned above. I was kneeling in prayer, asking God to once again show me He is in fact here working. To show me He is with me. To show me He needs me to be bold. I looked up to the front of our big, beautiful church to see the biggest angel hovering over our altar with wings spread wide and dressed again for battle. It was all I could do to keep from bursting out in tears from the sight of it. Tears did fall, but I kept them under control. To this day I believe it was St Michael the Archangel. I felt God was reminding me of this burden to pray, telling me it was time to pick up my sword, and sharing a grand message that He was engaged in a spiritual battle.

This burden I was led to pray about, that I saw everywhere in all areas of my life, the burden of division, of the great divide, of our inability to listen. Almost simultaneously I was drawn to the Holy Spirit. I felt like the Holy Spirit was the warrior our world needed. In fact, Jesus told the disciples he had to leave so the Spirit of Truth could come. Jesus knew we needed the Holy Spirit. I began almost a meditative prayer anytime I felt called. I would pray “Come, Holy Spirit, Come. Please move like a wave across our land revealing ALL truth. Opening all eyes, including mine, to the lies of the devil & all who do his will. Please Holy Spirit cleanse our world from all corruption & lies. Your people are hurting. Your world is hurting. Save us.” Then it happened one night while praying this, I saw a ribbon of light that was winding itself, like a figure-eight, over our land. I could feel a change coming. I thought it was a fluke thing until it began to happen over and over again. Then I began to see things coming to light in our world. Facts and evidence being revealed. In recent months, this vision has moved through the following phases to the one it is at today. From the figure-eight ribbon over the United States. Second, a circular ribbon flowing like a wheel around the entire earth that has gradually increased in speed. Third, a wideband still around the earth moving so fast you can barely see that it is moving. (The best I can explain this is, if you have seen the Thor movies and can visualize the bridge between worlds, that is what this looks like but wrapped around the world.) Fourth, the same wideband but racing on it, almost as if to keep it moving, was a silver-white pegasus with a male rider. Fifth, no rider, but a thin wheel moving extremely fast. Finally, the band is gone and there are two horses/pegasus racing around the earth. I can see dirt flying from their hooves. I can see they are larger than life on earth. I can see they are the white-silver one and a brown-gold one. I can see there are two riders. They are armored again like Paul describes to battle the enemy. I hear them calling us to armor ourselves up and prepare to battle the enemy.

It has been so surreal to watch these events unfold before my eyes and know that the Holy Spirit is at work in a big, powerful way. Here we are facing a great divide that stands to defeat us if we don’t armor up against the real enemy, the invisible enemy, that comes to seek & destroy. I feel like my role in this is to share my visions with you and to continue to pray for truth to be revealed.

I will end with this, I have also had several dreams and so have my kids. I will share those with you, but friends have shared with me other visions from different people they have read. One calls us to STAND FIRM as the waves come pouring in. Another saw a demon and when he asked the demon who it was the response was three things, but the greatest was GREED. The corruption to be revealed is rooted in centuries of greed by principalities & rulers of this world, that have sought to hold God’s people in bondage so they can control the wealth of the world. Only time will tell, but it is my belief we will see it all unfold at a rapid rate.

Remember Ephesians 6. It is time to put on your Armor of God!