Kelly Jean Knieper

A Prayer of Release – Introduction

Posted on June 28, 20172 Comments

Over the course of whatever number of days I am led to I will be doing a series on this prayer I found 2 years ago somewhere on social media. I wish I could cite its author, but there was no name on the picture and the person sharing it wasn’t the author. I am going with the assumption that the author is anonymous or just wanted to spread this prayer around. I have prayed this prayer literally EVERYDAY during the past 2 years. I wish I could count the number of tears I have shed while praying through it. The amount of past that has been ditched. Thus, my thought to start a series in which I will create a post about a part of the prayer that I am led to share. This will contain some personal testimony, thoughts, well as usual my rambling journal mind He gave me.

So, for this quick post I wanted to give you a heads up and share the prayer here. Then if you choose you can maybe start praying it and join in on this series in a more personal way. Each post will include the entire prayer, but I will bold print that part I will be focusing on. I should add those parts in parenthesis I added into the prayer. I will explain why when I get to those parts. Expect the first installment next week.

Heavenly Father, (Lord of my tomorrow), I release to You the burdens that I have been carrying, burdens that You never intended for me to carry. I cast all my cares upon You – all my worries, all my fears, (all my expectations). You have told me to not be anxious about anything, but rather to bring everything to You in prayer with thankfulness. Father, calm my restless spirit, quiet my anxious heart, still my troubling thoughts with the assurance that You are in control. I let go of my grip upon the things I have been hanging onto, with opened hands I come to You. I release to Your will all that I am trying to manipulate; I release to Your authority all that I am trying to control; I release to Your timing all that I have been striving to make happen. I thank You for Your promise to sustain my, preserve me, and guard all that I have entrusted to Your keeping. Protect my heart and mind with Your peace, the peace that passes all understanding. Father, may Your will be done in my life, in Your time, and in Your way. Amen!

I hope you are as excited about this series as I am. I have a few others in the works about the different areas of my life.

As always, I am praying for you all would you please pray for me? In fact, I know someone is … so many great things are happening!! Good Night!

I Am… Verses I Am Not…

Posted on June 27, 20174 Comments

Hello! Here I go again journaling through my thoughts with you…

This weekend I was thinking about how we have people in our life that we are not Catholic enough for them. Then I thought about how that was funny because then we have other people in our lives that we are too Catholic or Christian for them. So, those of you that know me and have had conversations with me know that my mind or thoughts can go ON AND ON AND ON….

So, I then began thinking about ALL THE things about myself that are enough for some people in my life, but to others is not enough at all.

Let us see…

I am enough Mom for child 1 today, but not for children 2, 3, or 4. Tomorrow it will be some other combination.

Today my husband is perfectly happy with my not being the best meal planner, but last week he was looking for something to eat and yep mumbling under his breath.

Oh, then there are the parents that think we are doing great with the ‘grand kid raising’ one minute, then the next are all to willing to offer assistance.

How about that boss … happy one day, but the next wanting more.

What about those people who do not want to be around you because you are too good? I have in my life been told I need to drink more, I need to stop talking about God, I need to quit being just so nice, etc. Ummm….okay … could it just be that my spirit makes them uncomfortable? They are being moved to change, change is hard, so they ignore it, but being around someone who has those good habits makes them uncomfortable. Many times they/we do not even know why that is why we don’t want to be around someone.

Do you see how this list could go on and on. How about adding in our OWN self-talk. Geez…who do you think is harder to make happy them or yourself?

Anyway … not sure my rambling has a point to it other than I am pretty sure we all FAIL everyday. EACH. AND. EVERY. DAY. We have all told ourselves and heard how we can not possibly make everyone happy all of the time. Well, do we really believe it ALL the time? I know I have to remind myself at least once a day that it is okay that those friends are not my ‘close’ friends because I am not __________ enough for them. I am who am I am, because God has me on my own journey, which I ask the Holy Spirit to lead and guide me on each day. If as a result, I fail at being enough to someone on this journey, but am enough for Him each day then all will be okay.

We will NEVER be enough for ourselves or this world. Our flesh and their flesh are always wanting MORE … more time, more money, more food, more perfection, etc. People have expectations, they most likely have no clue they even hold, that get placed on us and we will never meet them. Thus, we can not be their friend, or the perfect parent, or the best spouse, etc. Please just understand in His eyes you ARE PERFECTION, you ARE ENOUGH, you WILL SUCCEED…. just keep your eyes on Him. Let go of the things of the past, the things of this world, and cling to Him and all He has waiting for you.

Ha … do you all realize I am 99% of the time talking to myself in these posts. Shoot sometimes yelling or crying. Keeping it all real.

As always I am praying for you. Would you please pray for me? Good Night!

Do You Need a Time Budget?

Posted on June 23, 2017Leave a comment

Journaling ….

Today our kids and I started our day at a lake here in Michigan with family. It was our last day with them and we were sad to leave, but happy to be on our way home. Several times during the time we spent with them I reflected on how I used to push myself to be more, do more so I could have more, desire more time, etc. Are you ever that way? Wanting more time with anyone you love? Wanting more money to do whatever it is you desire to do with it? (Hopefully, good things.) Wanting more time in a day do all the things we think we should be doing? Or to do the things we crave doing? (i.e. crafts, reading, writing, hunting, etc.)

Well, this evening when we arrived home, unloaded our things, and began the task of putting it all away I found myself thinking about people I wanted to reach out to, time I wanted to spend with our kids (guys I home school … I am with our kids nearly 7 days a week 24 hours a day), so I should say spend QUALITY non-school time with our kids, planning a weekend with my husband…dang even just a date would be nice, on and on my mind went. Then it landed on writing and in that very moment our daughter commented,” Mom maybe since Dad will not be working any weekends this summer you can get a new bike, we can get a seat for the littlest one, and we can go on bike rides?” I so loved the idea of ALL these thoughts and things running through me head. Those of you that know me know how much they were all sucking me in. Ha! I started to feel anxiety and thinking “I can not do all these things and be all I need to be for everyone in my life and … LORD, I still REALLY want to read, watch TV sometimes, and Lord don’t you know I also need to check in to Facebook? How will people survive without my posts?” Okay I didn’t really think ALL that in that moment, but it hit me later when that same daughter in a conversation said “You didn’t hear me because you were on your phone.” Now don’t get me wrong I am NOT on my phone often at all, BUT honestly I am on it more than I should be and apparently enough to miss my kids needing me.

So, I looked began to look at my time as having to be budgeted like money. Just like we need to look at our spending to monitor where the money goes. We need to do the same thing with our time. When we look at money we list our NEEDS and priorities as expenses to include first, and then we add in the extras and make cuts. Well, the same is true about our time. We need to make a list of the things that NEED to be done for God, our family, home, and health. Then we add in the extras and/or cut things out. NOW sometimes we may need to do this right down to the minute to flush bad habits. For me the only thing I need to CUT out is checking my phone. I am sure when that bad habit is flushed God will reveal another … won’t you Lord. I am sure there are plenty, but one at a time. So, make your ‘time budget’ and let me know how it changed or didn’t change your day. Here is the kicker we get worried if we listen to what God wants us to do then we will never have time for what we want, but He ALWAYS makes time for all you need when you put what He needs first. ALWAYS! Sort of like when your kids do their chores you bless them with free time or some other reward.

Now … how I really got through my anxiety was just sitting down to prayers and making time to write…type out my thoughts. Again no grammar check. Just free flow. Sorry to the grammar police.

Final thought

” All the armies that ever marched, and all the navies that ever sailed, and all the parliaments that ever sat, and all the kings that ever reigned, put together, have not affected the life of man upon this earth as powerfully as has this on solitary life.” Dr. James Allan Francis

If that is not clear, he is referring to Jesus. So, if all those people didn’t affect life here like Jesus who am I to think I can. So, each day just ask Him to set your time budget for the day and be intentional about sticking to it.

As always I am praying for you, please pray for me. Could you pray I set the anxiety stick down and just step out and live each day by faith? Thank you!!

It Is Time To … Live Full Walk Free

Posted on January 8, 20171 Comment

As my regular readers know I journal more than I write. So, if this is your first time reading my blog please know that I just let the words flow and try to make it readable later. Hopefully, you enjoy.

This past September I had made plans for others to take care of our kids while I attended a Women’s Retreat at Grace Adventures. As the weekend came closer I realized I never received a confirmation notice. I brushed it off thinking it would arrive the week prior. When it did not I thought I should call to check on things, but I was also beginning to wonder if I really wanted to go…all by myself. After talking to someone at Grace I learned I was in fact not registered, but there was still room. My head was saying “Just stay home. Save the money.” My gut was saying “Go! Go! Go!” I learned a long time ago to pick up my anxiety, emotion, and listen to my gut…so planning to go continued. Oh, and by the way I just picked the weekend that worked for my parents to have the kids I never even looked at who the speaker was going to be. It would be a random weekend away all by myself. Enough with the back story…

The Key Note Speaker that weekend was Cindy Bultema, who would be sharing with us four times that weekend (5 if you attended her break out session) from the book of 1 Corinthian’s, is from west Michigan, a writer/speaker, a wife, and Mom of four kids. I can’t say it was a POWERFUL weekend for myself, but I can say that it was a weekend I needed to move myself forward in my own thoughts about serving others. I did LOVE Cindy’s talk and learned a GREAT deal about what was happening in Corinth when Paul wrote these letters. I watched as many women made huge steps forward in their own faith, in their own walk with Jesus, and in their journey to shed shame, guilt, and negative self-talk. It was a weekend I needed for many reasons and I pray it was the beginning of a next phase in my own journey, but for me watching the work God did in the lives of others was awe inspiring.

I came home and immediately started a bible study in my home. I stepped out and trusted God to lead those that needed the time in His word, needed time with other women, or were searching for something, through my door. It was an emotional time for me to just put it out there and I can’t explain how my heart rejoiced as others joined me. Going through that eight weeks with three other ladies and starting a Facebook group that others joined through was a blessing that filled all of our hearts. We completed Cindy’s study Red Hot Faith during the time I was blessed to be apart of the launch team for Cindy’s new Bible Study Live Full Walk Free. This new study was where she pulled her talk from for the weekend retreat that impacted women for Him and I am sure it tore down walls that were keeping them from being all He made them to be. I want that for everyone…for all of you!!

I have not completely read the study, because I wanted to go through it with my Bible Study in February. I did skim through it and loved what I found in those 60,000 words!!! My heart truly believes this study will impact many for our Lord. Cindy worked very hard on this, she allowed God to lead her, and she struggled to get it written all for HIM to reach YOU…YOU, ME, and EVERYONE that goes through it.

Before I end I wanted to share some of Cindy’s thoughts…

Can you tell us a little bit about your new study and why you chose to use Corinth?

Live Full, Walk Free: Set Apart in a Sin-Soaked World is a six-session Bible study book and DVD series based on 1 Corinthians. I love how God’s Word contains instructions on every (yes, every) situation we might face in life—even instructing us on how to live set-apart lives right in the middle of today’s confused culture. Whether women have been studying the Bible for decades, or are still trying to figure this “Jesus thing” out, I hope they’ll find relevant material that meet them right where they are on their spiritual journey.

I picked 1 Corinthians because Paul wrote this letter to church members living in the “Sin City” of their day. (So when you see 1^st & 2^nd Corinthians, think 1^st & 2^nd Las Vegas!) The church members in Corinth were surrounded by immorality, idolatry and indulgence, much like our culture today. Together we can learn from Paul’s wisdom to the Corinthians as he addressed issues such as identity, unity, purpose, purity, as well as overcoming temptations. Good stuff!

What do you hope readers glean from Live Full, Walk Free?

Freedom in every area of their life—including their sexuality. I often meet women who are weighed down by the pain and humiliation of their sexual pasts, even many years later. I’ve shed tears with countless friends who expressed feeling intense guilt for premarital sex, having an abortion, affair, or other sexual sins. I’ve walked with beautiful women who disclosed their excruciating stories of childhood sexual victimization. They know it’s not their fault, they should “move on.” They’ve tried to live forgiven and free, yet, they can’t shake the shame.

Unfortunately I think sex is one of Satan’s favorite lures. Clearly he’s using sexual sin to hook our culture: Porn is rampant, sexting among teens is commonplace, and we can’t even go to the grocery store for salad fixings without seeing sexual images on the covers of checkout magazines.

For many women, living in our sex-crazed culture has drastically impacted one’s ability to live full and walk free. Trust me: I get it. For a girl like me with a past like mine, I know what it’s like to be burdened with regret, disappointment, heavy hurts. No judgment here, only grace.

This I know based on the authority of God’s Word: no matter what you have done, or what has been done to you—Jesus Christ came so you might live full and walk free. You are not the one woman who has outsinned the grace and mercy of God. There is no one too far gone from God’s amazing grace!

With over 15 years of ministry experience, Cindy is a popular women’s speaker, author, and Bible teacher. But don’t let her cheerful smile fool you—Cindy has endured single parenting, overcome bondage to addiction, and survived tragic loss.Cindy’s latest Bible study, Live Full Walk Free was released in December 2016. Cindy lives in Michigan with her husband and their four kids. Most days you can find Cindy walking her beagle Rocky, attending one of her boys’ hockey games, or serving hot lunch at her kids’ school.

Once we get into the study I will be sharing live about the study on my #LateNightTruthChats via Facebook Live on my blog page. Please click the link to like my page and get notifications to hear those chats to learn more about my thoughts on this study and … well whatever I am led to share. Until then please check out the link below and get your own copy of Cindy’s beautiful book. If you want to join a group you are welcome in my home or to join our Facebook Bible Study Group just let me know!! Otherwise, like ALWAYS know I am praying for you and PLEASE pray for Cindy and I!!

Find out more about Cindy’s new Bible study, Live Full Walk Free, plus download freebies for your own journey through 1 Corinthians here: http://www.cindybultema.com/live-full-walk-free/.

How Do I Know It Is You God?

Posted on December 30, 20162 Comments

In the last month I have been shown how I was looking at my calling a bit wrong. Not all wrong, but wrong enough that is was messing up my direction. So, I thought instead of journaling through it in my journal I would journal through it with you all. Then as I crisp up my own understanding you might gain some insight into your own world.

I have been hosting a bible study in my home and the first one we decided to do was Red Hot Faith by Cindy Bultema. One of the points of discussion had to do with eliminating blind spots. Blind Spots are things that keep us from achieving our best for God, but the hard part about this is that these are ‘blind spots’. We can go our entire lives and never know they even exist. When I first read this I had to take a few weeks to sort through this idea and reflect on my own life to determine what blind spots were hiding in my life. My gut was telling me there was definitely a blind spot that God was working to reveal to me.

Just before Christmas we went to visit some family that was in town to do some sledding. While there my Aunt asked me if I followed Father Joe, a cousin to her and my Mom, on Facebook. I do, so I replied, “Yes, but hadn’t checked in lately.” She proceeded to comment that his post earlier that week was really nice. Later that night, I checked his post out. In it he discusses ways we know it is God we are listening to. One of the points he mentioned was that if it is God calling us to do something that there will be sacrifice involved. Just reading his words caused a light bulb to come on for me. It was like a gap was connected for me. Yes, I always knew the idea of the road less traveled or the road with dips and turns, bumps and obstacles, verses the easy road, but I guess this was a blind spot for me as I needed that word SACRIFICE to connect a dot for my brain. I suddenly realized why I was struggling with “Is God calling me or isn’t He. Nothing seems to be falling into place. I am not having time to do something.” Well, duh I need to make some sacrifice to make it happen and it isn’t going to be easy.

THE BACK STORY … Growing up I always heard how if it was Gods plan everything would just fall into place. Well, that is not entirely true. Yes, God will open and close doors, but He needs you to travel the path to get to the door AND you need to open it. Or you need to acknowledge the door is closed and seek out the one He desires for you to open. The journey to those open doors will include sacrifice.

What is strange for me about this is that I KNEW all is from experience. When we decided I was going to stay home we had to make a sacrifice of a second income. When we decided to homeschool we had to make more sacrifices to put money into curriculum, learn to live with a messy home, my own time would be consumed by kids, etc. When I say this to you I can honestly say there are hard days, but the good and great days far out weighed the bad and instead of sacrifice it is blessing. So, why I did not see that sacrifice would need to be made in this next phase or direction He was leading us? I have no idea. Well, actually maybe because I never thought ahead about any of those previous decisions. They were just what we were going to do and we never looked at any of it as a sacrifice. Where as this time around I know it needs to be done, but I am feeling the struggle much more than before.

It feels good when you head in the right direction and when there are struggles God gives you affirmation that you are on the right path, He is with you, and He will get you through it. JUST TRUST HIM. I have been fortunate to have a group of amazing ladies praying for me and feeding me with encouragement through this. Then I have had some crazy random Holy Spirit FILLED moments that SHOUTED I was doing the right thing. Including writing this post, I finished typing the rough draft last night, this morning I woke up to the below photo shared by Molly Green and knew I was still on the right path. So, now I set editing, which is funny since I am HORRIBLE at that, and adding in links to BEAUTIFUL people you should check out for some of your own encouragement.

So, is God calling you? Are you listening to God? One part of knowing is if it will require you to make a sacrifice. If you aren’t hearing Him maybe check yourself for blind spots…things in your life, up bringing, thought patterns, etc that are keeping you from reaching out to Him. Find someone that can help you sort through it all…journal to Him.

NOTE: I am NOT an affiliate with any of the above people, companies, etc. I just love them and want to share them with you AND they are apart of the reason I had a wonderful light bulb moment. Also, here is a link to Father Joe’s column in Faith Magazine.

Embracing Your Kid’s Interests

Posted on September 18, 2016Leave a comment

Over the past two years I have enjoyed and struggled with things our kids are interested in. To clarify, I am talking about things that are more than a passing interest. These are things that they continue to learn and discover about.

I have moments that I want to forbid them their interest, because I simply do not understand it or it looks/sounds weird to me. I mean why can’t my good Christian kids read/study their Bible’s, dive into devotionals, listen to Christian Music all the time, etc. WHY do they have to discover things that make me wonder if I am a good parent?

Well, I am no expert and I am sure there are MANY Christian parents out there that will disagree with me in our approach. Yet, we have chosen to follow the following steps, for the most part, when our kids develop interests that either concern us OR we just plain think are odd OR we ourselves have NO INTEREST in.

We do our very best to research the thing they are drawn to. We learn the good and bad about it. Then we evaluate if either side out weigh’s the other FOR OUR child and our family. In other words, research and discussion between Mom and Dad.
Then we discuss with the child what we found and what we believe is best. Maybe limited time. Maybe they can only participate or view something when one parent is present. Maybe we decide this interest is not in their best interest and we do forbid it.
Next, we follow-up and make sure they are following our guidelines. If it was something we allowed them to continue with we then choose to learn what we can about it. This allows us to converse with them about it and engage them. We want them to know that their parents may not know EVERYTHING about this, but they are willing to learn, love them enough to want to spend time doing things they enjoy, and also that we are aware of their habits/interests.
Finally, we embrace them and their interests as best we can. We watch movies with them. We watch YouTube videos with them. We encourage them to create things they learn about. We always refer them back to God and our faith. We set an example that we have interests, but we put God and our family first. Keeping things in proper perspective.

I guess what I am saying is our kids are not our clones. They are going to like things that make no sense to us or may even seem dumb. We choose not to ridicule them or blow it off. We feel that pushes our kids away from us rather than creating a lasting relationship with them. We choose to make the tough parental calls when we need to, but we also explain to our kids why. They may not like it, but at least they know Mom and Dad didn’t just say no. They know we respected them enough to research it and give them REASONS for our decisions.

As parents our number one priority is to keep them close to God. If we choose not to embrace what they are interested in then we may risk pushing them away, which makes it pretty hard to draw them to Jesus Christ.

DISCLAIMER: We do not do a great deal of explaining to our 3-year-old. Ha! We do, but we do more…”No! You WILL NOT run into the road.” or “Yes you can color on THAT paper.” In this post I am referring to our approach with our older children.

Finding Purpose Again

Posted on July 6, 20161 Comment

There was a time in my life when I was too young to even care about my purpose in being here. Then came the time that I became a teacher and everything changed. I knew from the first day in a classroom that I was to be a teacher.

Oh, my heart filled up with joy and pain when I was in the classroom. Sure I had a life and another purpose that superseded being a teacher and it was being a wife. Eventually, becoming a mom interfered as well. Yet, what I am talking about is that purpose that somewhere inside of you … you just know you are meant to be there in that place. That is how I felt about teaching. Well, shoot when my babies started I arriving I knew I was supposed to be home with them, but what I wasn’t prepared for what that sense of purpose was gone. That feeling I felt when I was teaching … was … well gone.

I know…I know some of you are thinking “Well, you are a Mom now THAT is your purpose!” I am here to tell you that my head and my heart KNEW God wanted me home, but something in my being wasn’t grasping the idea that being a Mom was a purpose. Maybe I am slow. I remember PLEADING with God to show me my purpose.

Lord please show me what my purpose is here! Help me! I am feeling so misplaced, lost, confused, inadequate, I can do more than this, …

I recall within days of finally truly PLEADING with Him that I was at my computer and the radio was on Family Life Radio when this song came on about a busy Mom and all the seemingly mundane things we do … and … well … I sat there and cried as I heard him say it matters. Then shortly after that hearing the words “God could have chosen anyone to be their Mom, but He didn’t … He chose you!” THIS….THIS was the beginning of me seeing His plan for me.

See it isn’t as much about feeling purpose as it is rather about allowing Him to work each day through you to achieve purpose.

That realization came to me through a series of little moments…a movie called Mom’s Night Out, which is where I heard AGAIN that God chose me, books, watching our kids grow and interact with others, SLOWING down my pace to hear Him, and learning to wait on my Lord. Tonight though was the first time I wrote it out like that in bold print and I am crying now as it really becomes even more real to me. Sharing with you all ALWAYS brings something new to light.

“We know that all things work for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28

See it is called according to His purpose. My hang up was in thinking that His purpose wasn’t great or grandeur enough. He has placed a dream in my heart and I am sure one day I will see it come true. Yet, each day He leads my steps to His purpose for that day and eventually one step at a time all the steps will come together. Just like now I can look back and see how EVERYTHING good and bad has gotten me here, I am sure I will look back then and see exactly the same thing. Probably how my crazy random blogging was a part of something even greater to come.

So, if you are struggling with being a Mom and finding your purpose please know He is working HIS purpose through you in each moment. For now He needs you to allow Him to work through you. Right? Or Wrong?

I am praying for you! Please pray for me!

Bathroom Usage

Posted on May 20, 2016Leave a comment

I will not state any facts or statistics here. If you want that there is plenty out there you can search for, I am just chiming in with my 50 cents.

First of all, the fact that we are even having this topic is hilarious to me and probably not for reasons you might think. One we quit letting our kids go into a public restroom by themselves …. well we have never let them go by themselves…unless they are in a local place. Secondly, at any point a male or female can walk into any bathroom they want and attack a female. So, far nothing is changing. Besides all that women pee in a stall so nobody is going to see you taking care of business. Before moving on I will clarify I do not think we need to change a system that works just fine, but I am acknowledging that it will not affect our public bathroom use and I wonder if you think about it would it really affect yours much?

Secondly, the fact that we are discussing this and NOT the fact that the President thought it was apart of his job description to issue this decree. Lately, I have been leaving a great deal up to the Lord. As I am just not understanding much of anything. I am just praying and stopped worrying or dwelling on things. Yet, I am well aware of where the Federal Reserve came from, where the United Nations came from, I am aware of why Public Education was formed, etc. I can see the original agenda of these and other organizations playing out everyday. I have also quickly learned that trying to share this info with people only goes so far. People listen to or believe what they want to. To me this decree and words that seem to be creating a safe environment for kids actually cut rights of the parents. It all happens over time with such small changes that we don’t even notice until it is too late.

So, for me it is NOT about who might be sharing the bathroom with me as I have fully expected danger in public bathrooms for YEARS now. It is the danger that is hidden in plain view that we do not see because we are distracted. An amazing magic trick!

Praying for you and our world … please pray for me!

A Moment

Posted on May 14, 2016Leave a comment

Just a moment can change your life. Everyone has defining moments. What are yours? Have you put them in perspective? Have you allowed them to define your life or you? Have you let them moment consume you?

See some people think that allowing a moment define you or your life means that you have allowed yourself to dwell on that moment. Not at all…dwelling on or living in means you have parked yourself in that moment. Having a defining moment or several moments means that you have experienced the moment to its fullest good or bad, then you have allowed God to use that moment to move you where He needed to move you. Have you felt God move you?

I have, but most of the time it is when I look back and I see that He moved me. When you are in a moment many times it can be so consuming that you might know He is there, but you simply do not know or feel Him working until time has past and you can look back.

Moments that forever change the way you look at or understand pretty much everything around you.

Moments that forever change the way you love people.

Moments that forever change what you believe to be true.

Moments that forever change the look in your eyes.

Moments that forever change things like what you read, eat, watch, etc.

Moments that forever change where you live.

Moments that change YOU and YOUR perspective…view of YOUR world.

My moments have made me the me I am today. My moments drive me and I feel God behind the wheel as He turns those moments…those defining moments…into something He is using for His plan.

So, look at your defining moments, leave them as the moment, and FEEL HIM working them for good.

Please Pray for me I am praying for you.

Who, But God Knew — Part 4

Posted on April 10, 20161 Comment

I thought is was fitting to finish this story on our #4 baby’s 3rd Birthday.

This might be the hardest part of the story for me because the time before her birth was a very difficult time for us. Financially things were not easy and many people judged us for me not finding a job while he was laid off and for choosing to home school. Though the hardest part was how to pay the bills.

In 2011 I went to my routine doctors appointment and found out I was pregnant, but had also started my cycle. It was a the first time in my life that I could get some understanding of what some may feel when the choose to have an abortion. NO WAY was that an option, but I was horrified to tell my husband, who did not want anymore kids. Not because he wouldn’t love more, but because … well… we were struggling. Plus, he was ready to have the kids getting to an age that maybe he and I could get more alone time. I can not share what happened between us when I told him as it is very personal. Lets just say God was with us because we needed Him. I did lose that baby and the whole time was very emotional. It was miscarriage number 5 and in some ways the hardest.

Almost one year later I became pregnant again and yes it was not received well. Yet, as I keep track of my temperatures and ovulation this month it was 4 days earlier that ever before. This was truly God taking control of what is His to control not ours. The next three months were a very lonely and quiet three months. I was extremely fatigued like I have never felt before. I was sick, but nothing extreme. At twelve weeks we told the kids they were going to have a baby brother or sister. Oh man were they excited and picking names already. The rest of the world the found out…when I shared on Facebook. With the rest of the world excited our world started to change as the date drew closer.

On April 9, 2013 she was born in a dramatic fashion as #1 and #2 were and has been dramatically been bring joy into our world ever since. She is a wise soul. She seems to always just know. Her mannerisms are beyond her years. Her character is always bringing a smile to someone’s face. AND she has her Daddy wrapped around her finger. Oh, who is kidding who…her WHOLE hand. Her older siblings several times have wished they could stop her from growing up so they could snuggle her forever. Our family was not complete without her and Who, but God Knew….

You Are Welcome to Share!

You Are Welcome to Share!

You Are Welcome to Share!

You Are Welcome to Share!

You Are Welcome to Share!

You Are Welcome to Share!

You Are Welcome to Share!

You Are Welcome to Share!

You Are Welcome to Share!

You Are Welcome to Share!