Family Life – Page 2 – Kelly Jean Knieper

What is Their Love for You Rooted In?

Posted on February 26, 2016Leave a comment

It has been a few days since I shared anything with you and I am sorry, but with our weather and a head cold I have been trying to get through the MUST do’s of each day.

The other day my husband and I were talking about a day we have coming up that two kids would have to be somewhere at the same time, but in opposite directions AND it is a day that he worked the night before so will need to sleep. We discussed a strategy, which will work out beautifully. I even talked about it with the kids so they knew what to expect that day.

Later that day I was washing a few dishes, looking out a window into our back yard, and like my mind always does it wondered into a stream of thoughts. You know the kind that take you to somewhere glorious, but when you try to share it with someone they are all confused as to why you were thinking about that and how in the world one thought took you all the way to that final thought…you know, right? ANYWAY, I was looking out the window (I will spare you the thought trail) when eventually it occurred to me “I hope our kids are learning about our love for them by observing the sacrifices we make and not because of what they are gaining due to those sacrifices!”

First of all, with four children and a Daddy that works 6-7 days a week so Momma can stay home (I just had to break to dress a Barbie doll…I knew you would want to know) there are plenty of events that both or at least one parent cannot make it to. Whether it be because we are both running kids somewhere, or one is running and one is home with the others, or one is working/sleeping, or as in the case of horse riding Mom is severely allergic to the barn and cannot go in. It occurred to me that dish washing day that I hoped our kids choose not see us NOT there, but rather chose to see all the other stuff. Do they see how much Dad has to miss, because it was important Mom was home? I hope they grasp how much of his income goes to pay for the activities they are in. I began reflecting on this and thinking I hope they would grow up to love us more for that and not grow up wondering why we were not always there.

Secondly, I hoped they were not growing up loving the stuff Daddy’s money bought them, but rather loving the time it took to earn that money and loving the fact that he willingly choose to spend it on their desires, dreams, and passions instead of his own. Or are they loving the recital costumes or riding equipment rather than the Daddy that worked really hard to earn the money to buy those things. Are they loving Mom for being there every day for them or for the time she gives up being her own person so she can do what God called her to do?

So, I reflected on this and thought the only way to ensure that our kids are seeing and getting all this that we desire for them is to ALWAYS talk to them. We talk to them sometimes people are baffled by our choice to explain things to kids. You know “They are the kids. You are the parent. They should just deal with it!” mentality? For whatever reason, we do not always take that route. We tell our kids how it is. That it is not all about money, but money is needed to pay bills and such. That we are a family and families work together to achieve the family goal first and then the individual goals.

They may not completely get it. They may wish Mom and Dad BOTH could be at everything, but we are a part of a team … and that they get and respect. They know Daddy doesn’t CHOOSE to work every day of the week because he wants to, but because Mom and Dad want other things for the family that require Daddy to work. As a result, they do not whine about where we are. They never question why someone isn’t there. They are grasping the idea that we all work together to clean house, do laundry, and get everyone everywhere they want to be. It is a TEAM effort.

Final thought…Is their love for you rooted in the fact that you were there or is it in the fact that they know why you were not? Do they love you because you bought them that prized toy or because they know what it took for you to buy it? Do they love you because you are there at practice all the time or because you made it happen for them to be at practice? I think they should understand it both ways and love/respect you for it all.

God Bless! I am praying for you please pray for me!

Home School With a Block Schedule

Posted on February 23, 2016Leave a comment

I haven’t written about our home school world in a while or ever. Maybe because I never feel like I know anymore than any other home school person out there. Yet, I have come to let many things go and focus on the fact that those of us that home school do it our own way. We have our own lives, goals, family needs, needs of each child, etc., which we have to work into a routine to work best for us. It has taken us a bit of time because of many different things that came into play over the past 6 years. Seemed once I THOUGHT I had it all figured out something would occur…a new baby, a lay off, working from home, a different job or shift, etc.

Yet, I now believe that those past 6 years of learning how we work and reflecting on things I have read have led me to a state of PEACE with how we have been functioning over the past few months. Things are clicking for us in MANY areas of our home that it feels really good. I hesitate to share, because I think part of my frustration the past 6 years came from a sense that I needed to do what others were doing. Although, I also have taken pieces of what I learned as a High School teacher and pieces of everything I have absorbed as a home school Mom and applied it. With that said I suppose sharing may help someone on their journey.

Basically, during BOTH weeks we attend our Academic Co-Op one day a week and the other four days we do our Reading, Spelling, Handwriting, Math, and Co-Op homework each morning. Their homework this year is an essay, Geography work, and extra grammar or math review sheets. Then we have lunch. Evenings are pretty much the same each week as well. After we are home from their activities (dance, tumbling, horses, karate, scouts, gymnastics) and settled down for the evening we do reading/storytime. Each evening we read from a different area Monday is a Literature book, Tuesday US History, Wednesday is a book of their choosing, Thursday is World History and Map work, and Friday is poetry/Shakespeare.

During Week #1 our afternoons include our elective/hobby work and projects around home. We are also working to make sure all our appointments and play dates are done during this week. Things we do during this week are random home projects, yard work, cleaning the house, bulk baking and cooking (which the kids help with all steps), sewing, knitting, and anything else we want to learn to do.

During Week #2 our afternoons include studies of typical elective classes. These include our own

Geography work (2 lessons during week)
My son’s Scout badge activities (1 lesson/week)
My son’s religion work (1 lesson/week)
My son’s US History curriculum (1 chapter and activities/week)
Human Body Study/Sex – Ed/Anatomy whatever you want to call it (1 lesson each/week)
Language Arts which includes grammar, literature, and writing (2 lessons/week)
A Science experiment (1 lesson/week)
Science (1 lesson/week)

We do prioritize these as some of their workbooks are not a full year. Other things around the house take a back seat this week. We just maintain our world as we have 5 LONG full days of book work.

I have been feeling so much better knowing we are covering all our interests and all the things I feel they should be learning, but in such a manner that nobody hates learning here. We never feel overwhelmed and we are learning primarily through primary texts rather than textbooks.

Remember this is a system that is NOT perfect, but one that I have finally found works the best for the demands and structure of our family AT THIS STAGE of our lives. I am guessing in a couple of years things will change and require me to adjust AGAIN! All good as long as they are getting what they need.

God Bless! I am praying for you please pray for me!!

Mom, Do You Need Time Away?

Posted on February 19, 2016Leave a comment

I wrote the italic portion on October 10, 2014. I suppose there was a reason I never posted it until now. Maybe that I simply needed to reread it this evening as I prepare it to post tomorrow. I recall the evening I typed it. The words came to my head almost faster than I could type them. That weekend I felt closer to God than I had in a very long time.

So, I am here sitting out at Silver Lake at the Dunes knowing the beautiful Lake Michigan is on the other side. I am here by myself for myself to have alone time with my mind and my God. I am loving the sound of the waves. The smell of the brisk fresh air. Praying that God reveals many things to me this weekend, but mostly right now as I type what he needs you to hear.

Today, right now, He NEEDS you Mom’s to know that He treasures you like He treasures His own Momma Mary. He regards her with great honor and He feels the same for you. See you are doing the same for your little’s that Mary did for Him. What is that? You are doing the best you can with what you have. You are teaching and guiding them the best you can with what you know. You search and reach for all you can learn, earn, and achieve so you can give them all they deserve, desire, and dream. You let God lead you each day to discover THEIR reason for being. You let God lead you to help Him mold them into where He needs them to be each day.

He wants you to know that He led others to help you. He wants you to know that it is a must for you to be alone with Him. To rest your body, mind, and soul. He/They need you to revive your spirit. To connect with Him so He can connect to them through you. It is okay. It is NOT being selfish to clear your heart and mind for a period of time. In fact, if you recall Jesus needed to and was called by God to do just that several times. Before Jesus there were Moses, Joshua, Abraham, David, Mary, Elizabeth, etc that were called to be alone with Him. To take a break from the demands of their role among the people to draw closer to God and His desires for them. To clearly see the visions God had for them.

Do you have to be gone for 60 hours at a Women’s Retreat on a lake like I am right now. NOPE…in fact this is my first time away from home, kids, husband, and family in 16 years. I have been in my home in our home town by myself, which was always very refreshing. That was perfect for me back them. Now though I have come to realize I can not send the kids to Grandma’s and just stay home. Why? Because for me I would find something that needed to be done. For this time in my life I need to be here…away…to be bored, to relax that I have not relaxed in a long time. Hey, and to be sharing with you all.

My first session starts at 8 pm. So, I am concluding Part 1 with this. He wants you to know He loves you beyond any feeling you can imagine, but more than even that He wants you to know to love Him so much that you can also love yourself enough to be alone. Hmmm….enough to be alone….a thought to ponder….

I do have more I typed that weekend and I am sure I will post soon.

God Bless! I am praying for you please pray for me!

Who, but God, Knew … – Part 3

Posted on February 18, 2016Leave a comment

Who, but God, knew that after that third miscarriage that led to a DNC, which I later learned nearly killed me, that baby number two was on the way. Who, but God, knew that six months later around our baby boy’s second birthday we would become pregnant with child number two. For the first time, I really understood my husband’s need to keep things quiet. Yet, for me it wasn’t about myself so much as the pain of telling other people of our lose over and over again. Yet, God knew the baby names would start forming in our heads. Things were really happening.

It was a sad time for us that year. Who, but God, knew that my Grandma would pass away shortly after we found out we were expecting. My father-in-law would be battling cancer. Then just before our new baby arrived my Grandpa would pass away. We welcomed baby #2 into the world the day after our anniversary and just before Christmas. Who, but God, knew that we would have to be rushed into an emergency c-section as both of our hearts were dropping with each contraction. Who, but God, knew that watching my father-in-law hold her would be treasured memories as he would leave us just 3 days after we had her baptized. Who, but God, Knew this little one would bring a great deal of joy during a sad time.

We had 9 months of pure joy with our two beautiful children…when what out of the blue…Who, BUT GOD, knew baby number 3 was on the way. Yet, ONLY GOD knew that she would have to be a fighter to make it into the world. It was the Monday before Thanksgiving when the bleeding started. I left my classroom that day and God Knew it would be the last day I would teach in a classroom. They told me that day I would most likely miscarry the child. I recall looking at the doctor and saying “No disrespect, but I have had 4 miscarriages and this baby is a fighter we will have no miscarriage here.” Bed rest it was for me for two weeks while praying my rosary all the time, talking to God, and loving this baby. Then I was cleared to get up and about, but pretty much could do nothing for 2 more months. Until they told me we would in fact be having this baby. Who, but God, knew that Baby #3 would arrive 17 months, 17 days after #2 was born. Who, but God, knew that this Baby #3 would need me to look her in the eye at age 6 with tears in both our eyes as I tell her “Honey, it is okay to quit fighting. Let your little spirit rest. You made it here. We love you … you don’t have to be the fighter anymore.” I wish I could explain that moment. It was a true Holy Spirit moment as I watched her just become lighter and a smile like I have never seen before grow on her face and in her eyes. Who, but God, Knew that moment would happen and the power it would have on the two of us in so many ways. He knew we both needed that moment.

To Be Continued….

God Bless! Praying for you please pray for me.

Do You Have Expectations?

Posted on February 17, 2016Leave a comment

Might seem like a silly question, but yesterday I asked us to think about who Jesus is to us. Today I feel the desire to reflect on expectations. I truly believe it is our expectations that get us into trouble. Get us into feelings of despair, loneliness, anger, frustration, and I could go one with many more emotions.

What do you expect from yourself? What do you expect from your spouse? What do you expect from your children? What do you expect from friends, parents, siblings, extended family, neighbors, community, world, etc.? Again I could go on and on and on with this.

***Before continuing I ask that you stop and reflect on what types of things you expect from the people in your life and around you. How you want them to treat you? What you may want them to do for you? Then come back here and read the rest of my post. I should just make this a two-part post, but your are grown ups and really it probably doesn’t matter a bunch.***

Expectations are what seems to get me into trouble in many ways, but before I explain that I what to make a note that expecting things out of or from people is not always a bad thing. What is bad is when you expect things you have never shared with the other party. Anyway, let me give some examples. First of all, I expect that people drive with courtesy. How does this get me in trouble? Well, it can cause me great frustration, anger, and stress when someone doesn’t drive in a manner I (YES I) deem appropriate. Yet, another layer to that is that what I deem appropriate comes from how I was taught to drive or how I was raised. So, my expectation of how people should drive really comes from my own perceptions of what is right. You can take this example and apply similar concepts to every area of your life.

I guess the best place to star is in your home. Do you expect things from your kids? Sure we all do, but have you explained and properly taught them the habits necessary to meet your expectations? Then once you are fully aware that they have been properly trained do you properly follow through daily on making sure they meet those expectations? Or do you slack in this and then blow up when over time they are not meeting your expectations? HA…I have made this mistake. How about your spouse? Do you expect your spouse to know that when you mope around the house it means they should cook dinner? Or whatever you please…do you expect them to know that you want them to do anything for you? Yet, you never explain this to them. OH THEY SHOULD JUST KNOW, because they are an adult?? Right…just like you should know how to change the oil in the car because you are an adult? I work REALLY hard NOT to get upset with my husband if he doesn’t respond in a way that I would like him to WHEN I HAVE NEVER told him. I am not in the business of giving advice. Just thoughts. So I will end on that note. I hope you are thinking.

Final Thought…my husband and I rarely fight and I believe that is because we are ALWAYS open and honest with each other about what we need or desire from the other person on everything from doing dishes to our personal relationship. We were not always this way we achieved this after READING LOTS of books!

God Bless! I am praying for you please pray for me!

Why Do They Have Meltdowns and Why Do We Feel Punished?

Posted on February 16, 2016Leave a comment

Let’s assume for this post that my children are NOT the only one’s in the world that can have a meltdown … one that will carry on throughout the day. Why do they do this? And why do we as parents feel like we are being punished by the God’s? (Okay there is only ONE God. I am using sarcasm!) I can not speak for you and your children nor will I ever try, but my kids have meltdowns for what seems like the craziest things and it always SEEMS like it happens at the worst possible times. Anything ringing true for anyone?

So, in my life with four children it seems that on average we have an extended meltdown 1-2 times a week from at least one child. Currently, it is our #2 and #3 children that seem to have them the most often. Our oldest tends to get in a mood that resembles anger more than anything and leaving him alone is always the best policy. The other two, man, when they get going on something there is screaming, foot stomping, LOTS of tears, whining, pouting, etc. Usually when this occurs they also like to make sure to do it all EXTRA hard or EXTRA loud…ya know just in case the neighbors that live 100 yards away can hear.

I used to try to defuse it immediately and be the good mom trying to calm them down, but typically what occurred was that I would wind up getting all worked up and screaming back at them. NOW THAT IS COUNTER-PRODUCTIVE. Then I read or heard some wise words about how … oh read them in The Five Love Languages for Children…that kids will have strong emotions and as parents you have two choices let them experience these emotions with your love and support OR force them to keep the emotion in. By doing the first one you show them you are a safe place for them no matter what.

Don’t get me wrong … since when this occurs I feel like our life is placed on hold and the roof my fall in. I think “Lord what did I do to deserve this today?” Yet, you know it isn’t about me that child in that moment is suffering and it is our job to teach them how to work through their stuff before a meltdown occurs. We need to get over ourselves and the inconvenience they seem to cause us at times. Besides, think of yourself … when you are all out of sorts isn’t there usually ALWAYS a reason? Well, the same is true for them. Currently, my 2 older children are knocking on hormone changes and #3 is close behind. Pretty sure we are in for lots of extreme emotions over the next 15 years as #4 will have to go through it all as well.

Final Thought…instead of seeing their meltdown as a slight or inconvenience ask God to show you what is wrong so you can TRULY teach them how to handle that emotion when it comes up again.

God Bless! I am praying for you please pray for me!!

Who is Jesus to You?

Posted on February 15, 2016Leave a comment

Part of my Lenten Journey this year I receive daily email devotionals. The other day one was about the Jesus story, where Jesus asks “Who do you say that I am?” In the devotional we are challenged to ask ourselves, “Who is Jesus is to us?”

There are MANY scripture verses that are about Jesus or the prophets or the Apostles or disciples telling us WHO He will be, was and is. Yet, today we should ask ourselves who He is to us. Below is ONE of the verses that struck me just a couple of weeks ago. Then the Lenten devotional. Plus, I have been reading a chapter a night in the Book of Acts. I think God is leading me here to do some reflecting on who He is REALLY to me.

Can I honestly say the portion in John 8:12 that sits with me is the part about not walking in darkness? Have you ever walked in darkness? I think we all have. Let’s not compare how dark it has been for each of us. True compared to me MANY have walked in greater darkness. Yet, I have walked through my own darkness….just like you have. The thing is though that I believe you can not truly escape the darkness or the feelings it left you with UNTIL you except the light Jesus has to offer you. The amount of light and the way He delivers it is different for each of us.

I have also come to understand that there will most likely be more darkness for me and for me family. Unfortunately, we live in a fallen world that allows evil to creep around. So, to get myself and my family through what is now and what is to come I pray without ceasing…I accepted Him as my Lord and Savior into my WHOLE being…I wake EACH morning with “Good Morning my Friend Jesus Lets get to it!”…I end each night with “Thank You for _____ of today.” … See for me He is my Savior, my Light, my Best Friend, my Lover, etc. I get that that will be very strange for so many of you that are reading this, but see we as humans are NEVER enough for each other. We are imperfect. God gives us the blessings of amazing human relationships, but the love that we have for our families, spouses, children, friends, etc will NEVER equal the love He has for us. He will ALWAYS give you perfection that will fill each of your needs. Turn to Him. Seek Him first.

Final Thoughts …. Who is Jesus to You? To me He is my friend, my light, my … heart and soul.

God Bless You! I am praying for you, please pray for me!

How to Take Charge of Your Anxiety

Posted on August 26, 2015Leave a comment

I am NOT AN EXPERT! I simply have a great deal of personal time with Miss. Anxiety and Mr. Stress. Ever have a migraine? Have tension in the neck and shoulders? Hmmm….grind those teeth or maybe a clincher like me? What about crazy fits of anger? Insomnia? Tears? Panic Attack? And the list could go on and on and on, right? How do we stop the ANXIETY???? I can ONLY speak for myself and to say I am still a work in progress and most likely will be until death.

First of all, years ago I simply started understanding myself. I read personality books and continue to read them today. Not only to understand my weaknesses, because I did dwell on those at great length as we must improve, right? Eventually, I am not sure what happened, but I realized it wasn’t the weaknesses I needed to change I needed to focus on using and enhancing my strengths. Yes, we all have certain things we should change, but those are more bad habits or learned behavior not things the are core to who we are. Once, I learned about my strengths I started to use them to eliminate things that increased my anxiety level. This is something I still work at even today. My number one strength is order and organization. When things go too long or get to busy and things are out of place I literally feel myself hyperventilate and begin to lose control. So, how do I handle this with kids with active lives. Well, I created spaces that are for them to enjoy their toys and crafts. Then I gave myself permission to set boundaries for them and myself. They can have disorder in their rooms and the basement. We restore order once a month and they must never destroy order in the rest of the house. HA…if that were always true life would be great. It works most of the time, but let me tell you day 25 of 30 I am near losing it when I walk through that basement to get to the school room. Try allowing space for your kids, your mind, and allow order in those places you see all the time. Learn about yourself and pick that one thing that you are good at. I bet it is also that one thing that raises your anxiety level. Find a way to let go.

Secondly, I make lists this keeps me focused on tasks. If I don’t I have moments that I feel lost on which direction I need to head next…laundry, cleaning, planning, shower…hehehe yes I need to remind myself to shower. Life with four kids, home schooling, activities, gardening, and so on I can go a couple of days before my husband says, “Honey, take a walk and then a shower.” Or I get caught up doing random things and then forget to do something important, which will bring on guilt and anxiety. As I write that list I am in my head talking it through with God (more on that). I create a monthly project list and daily to do’s. I also have monthly folders to keep things put away so I do not think or wonder about them until I have to. You know everyone has that pile of cool things you would like to do with your kids at Christmas or a next vacation or a camp they would like. Well, instead of leaving them in a pile to sort through weekly or even daily I place them in file folders labeled by month. Then each month when I do our draw erase calendar, meal plan, etc I pull that folder out and sort through the things to see how everything works together. Some things I keep are even for a few years out. Then I am not worried about forgetting cool ideas for a birthday party or a gift. All this helps me, but I have to be careful not to get to caught up in things to do, which is why I talk to God about it. Let Him lead your day and that lifts all anxiety.

Next, I have this devotional that I love. A couple years ago I was reading and came across part that talked about allowing God to lead through each day. This I always knew, but it hit my heart and soul that evening. It was freeing to know I could wake up each morning, give the day to God, and follow His lead. I have been pretty good about it, but have days, when like a friend of mine said, “When you have the worst days…the days that just feel like you are battling all day…then surprise the end of the day comes and you realize you were fighting for control all day. If I had just let Him take the lead it would have been a great day.” Yep, I still have days like that, but more and more of them are freeing days where we just go with the flow. It is wonderful and my kids have even commented that Mom has been more fun lately. That makes me happy. Let it go to Him. Let Him lead you. How? Just ask Him to take charge and WAIT, wait on Him to tell you what is next. It may come immediately or take a few minutes, but before you know it you are playing games, doing dishes, folding laundry, doing a science experiment, baking, and whatever He always comes through. Just go with it. TRUST ME everything does get done! That was and still is the hardest thing for me making sure things get done. I have faith in Him that He provides for ALL my needs even the time to do what needs to be done.

Fourth, is simple make time for yourself. Get out of the house even if just for a drive. Maybe do some form of exercise. Read, journal, and pray. Watch a movie. I have learned that I need to balance this time with people and being alone. Some people NEED people others NEED to be alone. For me to recharge I need to be myself. Yet, I love to have friends and be around people. So, we work to have balance in our relationships and time. Alone time is good for shutting everything down and just listening to your own thoughts. To listen to Him. MAKE that time for you.

Lastly, the latest thing I have been struggling with is holding myself back from God and all He has for me. How is this causing anxiety? Well, do you ever feel moved to do something, but just think you can’t? Then an inner battle occurs and carries on and on and on. All the while life is happening. I have really been focusing on letting go of fears, guilt, unforgiveness, ideas of perfection, etc. and focusing on where I am holding back or being “disobedient” to God and all He has for me. For example, just last night this verse was part of my Bible study and it brought this journey of letting go of anxiety full circle for me. Yes, back to square one, but so much further along in the journey than 10 years ago.

Here you go, “Beware that your hearts do not become drowsy from carousing and drunkenness and THE ANXIETIES OF DAILY LIFE [caps inserted], and that day catch you by surprise like a trap. For that day will assault everyone who lives on the face of the earth.” Luke 21:34-35

Back to letting go of everything. Each day that I HOLD onto something that keeps me from God it keeps Him from giving me everything He wants to give me that day. Holding on creates the anxiety. For me I have learned my anxiety is self induced. Is yours? GREAT! Then you can fix it!!

WHAT ARE YOU HOLDING ONTO? Like the song says “Let It Go”.

Thanks for reading. Please pray for me I am praying for you!

Making Family Memories

Posted on June 29, 2015Leave a comment

How many times as a Mommy or Daddy have you wondered if you were successful at making family memories? Or tried to make more time to do things with the kids to make lasting memories? Or even desired more time so you could make those connections with family?

Well, I am here to tell you I can answer yes to all of the above. Not sure if you are familiar with the book The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, but after reading this I learned I was a quality time person. This I hope is self explanatory, but it basically means I show love and desire to be loved through spending time time with others. It can even be the time someone took to do something for me or think about a gift to buy me. With that said I am always focused on the idea of TIME with those I love. Whether you are quality time or not you may have family that is and they are desiring more time with you. Leaving you to wish you had more time to do that. Or wondering how in the world can you afford to spend more time with them. I will elaborate, but this is much more simple than I made it out to be over the past 10 years. Yep, took me 10 years to realize I was making family time very complicated.

Another reason I desired memory making time was that my own father passed away when I was seven years old. Over the years since that accident I sub-consciously drove my schedule to squeeze in as much QUALITY time with family as humanly possible. My definition of that was gatherings, vacations, events, in other words, BIG type moments. Sure I seen the value in the little moments, but something in me wanted more. Once our kids started arriving I immediately started thinking of all the vacation spots I wanted to explore with them. Oh, and when could we get that camper or cabin to make summer time memories. As time began to tick away I felt myself feeling guilty for not doing MORE with our kids. Sure we had taken them on some week long trips that I can vividly recall, but what about the other 51 weeks during the year. Okay there are the birthday parties and holiday parties. So, lets say the other 50 weeks we are making NO memories as a family, right? Dear God what will my kids have for memories someday when I am gone. INSERT GIGGLE … as I honestly thought and felt those things for a VERY long time. How stressful!

The change happened gradually as God revealed to me daily these little moments of Joy until suddenly the dots connected and I flash backed over thousands of memories made in our home, back yard, driving from activity to activity, bedtime, bath time, dinner time, etc. Spending time with our kids making memories is the easiest thing we can do and the cheapest. The problem is we complicate it thinking it has to be done a certain way or that money has to be spent for it to be a valued time. Or we ruin moments or let them pass by because we weren’t truly present in the moment. Instead we were focused on the tasks that will be there tomorrow or YEP … the phone, tablet, computer, or TV. For me I wondered … Am I watching him practice his sparring or forms at Karate? Did I see that she FINALLY mastered that step in tap class? Yes, she completed a cart wheel! I asked my kids what their favorite family fun time is and they all replied that it was when we turn our favorite radio station up and dance like crazy people. How about how just last night they ran around the yard chasing firefly’s while watching for the three bats that were flying through the yard. Or even before that we made pizza’s on the fire and roasted marshmallows. Memories are made everyday. You just have to step out of the way of God and let Him show you how to love and appreciate the little moments. If you are not a quality time person, then it might be harder for you to realize that others need you to spend little moments with them everyday. Will we still do the big trips and have the big parties sure, but now instead of focusing on how we can’t do certain things I focus on the things we can do or are doing.

Time is what is valuable not the money spent of it. God Bless! I am praying for you please pray for me.

NOTE: I am an affiliate with Amazon, but I just had to write this as the whole thought came to me last night watching them chase those firefly’s. Besides the book is wonderful. Two others he wrote after that are The Five Love Languages for Children and The Five Love Languages for Teenagers. I must add I was at a conference last week and one of the speakers was a very powerful speaker and touched our hearts. He promoted this book. He told us over and over to appreciate the little moments and that we will never get this day back. Maybe he is why I seen the little moments and felt the need to share with you. Thank You Mark Mcleod for sharing your heart with us for two days. God Bless You!

Who, but God, Knew About Our Journey to Parenthood – Part 1

Posted on May 17, 20151 Comment

Who, but God, knew that on the day we learned we were expecting our first child that six weeks later we would lose our precious child. The next six weeks were emotional as a friend of mine, who found out they were expecting about the same time as we did, ended up delivering a healthy baby girl. They were emotional as I went to the hospital lab once a week to have blood drawn to test my HCG levels to make sure my body naturally rid itself of the baby. Who, but God, knew how this whole concept would plant a seed that over the next 10 years either destroy me or propel me. I truly believe He knew, but I also believe He sent Angels, He placed people in my life, He put me places to hear words I needed to hear, and He led me to the place I am today. He used everything and everyone in my everyday life to change me, but I have only arrived to this place today by following His lead.

Who, but God, knew that when we lost our second baby 8 weeks after taking the test that I would spiral into a deeper inner hidden remorse. Six more weeks of HCG tests, students having babies, friends having babies, babies babies babies everywhere, but quietly we prayed, dreamed, cried, and hoped. During this time we were involved in a business that many people judged us for and were even upset by the decisions we were making. Yet, we were growing and changing in ways only God knew we would. We needed to be there for the sake of our marriage and for the sake of my faith. Who, but God, knew that when He led one couple to this same business, when He led them to grow and speak from stage to thousands of people, that our friend would say one line that saved me. It brought me to my knees in tears and has since been repeated by me to others that have been touched. Who, but God, knew that “God never gives you a dream so strong to take away. Just believe!” would be the one thing I held onto that would eventually pull me out of my despair. I KNEW HE would bless us with a child.

Who, but God, knew that it would be 4 1/2 years of marriage life, of people wondering if we wanted kids, of sending two babies we never met, we never held, or named to Heaven, before we would learn we were expecting a baby we would meet, we would hold, and we would name. That pregnancy was one day of prayers after another. I think I was filled with pure joy and fear at the same time. That fear would have consumed me IF I did not trust that this time God was answering our dream. Who, but God, knew that when we held that beautiful boy in our arms that ALL Thanks and Praise went to Him and only Him. Then came the question of “how many kids do you want” came. You know after five years of waiting and losing two my reply was “As many as the good Lord give’s us.” I meant it with every part of me. My joy would not come from how many, but from Him. It had, too. I must add though that hidden still inside of me was a mourning for those babies that went to Heaven. Another post about coping with miscarriage will come at the end of this journey.

I am concluding this with saying that my Journey to His deliverance from the bondage of lose, fear, despair, guilt, and loneliness was just beginning. Who, but God, knew they amazing journey the Momma would be taken on. Who, but God, knew that people would think she was an odd ball for her passionate faith, for her decisions, and she would struggle with this as well. Yet, she had no choice to love the God that made her dream come true with that blond haired blue eyed beautiful boy.

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You Are Welcome to Share!

You Are Welcome to Share!

You Are Welcome to Share!

You Are Welcome to Share!

You Are Welcome to Share!

You Are Welcome to Share!

You Are Welcome to Share!